Abstract

The author is explaining the impacts of sexual activities in a cross-sex friendship. According to him he agues that occurrence of a sexual activity in a relationship signals the end of the friendship and the beginning of a love relationship. The author states one of the major characters of cross-sex relationship which is sexual attraction in one of the partner or both partners. He further argues that this character of cross-sex relationship makes the partner to avoid the relationship. He indicates that research has found that most of the people in these relationships engage in sexual remarks, teasing or jokes with their opposite friends, which eventually turns the relationship to be more of a romantic relationship.

Introduction

The author argues that according to some people in cross-sexual relationship they perceive sex as a way of expressing intimacy to their friends. The author cautions the reader that the presence of sexual behavior or the creation of sexual atmosphere in cross-sexual relationship is violation of expected norms for cross-sex friendships. Some of the impacts of involving sexuality according to the author are that; they destroy the relationship, to some extend they may make the relationship complicated, and that it may be used to overcome sexual boundary that usually stunts friendship development. The author concludes that sex is a fundamental thing in a relationship as it plays a role of bringing the two parties closer and they overcome the sexual boundary that usually exists between the friendships paving a way to growth of the relationship.

Body

The author contradicts the writer in that he argues that the act of doing sex or engaging in sexual activities which creates sexual environment is a violation of the expected norms of the cross-sex partners. He further shows how it may be responsible for destruction of the relationship. Later he explains to the reader of how the sex is a fundamental activity to the relationship he shows the reader it overcomes the sexual boundary which often hinders the growth of the relationship he says “……sexual encounters may be helpful for some friendships because once the tensions of the unexplored sex are behind them ….they are freed from the strains that so often inhibit friendship between men and women” (Walid, Afifi & Sandra  Faulkner, 1989) this contradicts the reader in that the writer supports both having sexual activities in a friendship and avoiding them.  In my opinion the author should show the good part and leave the reader to choose what is important not giving the reader the significance of one thing and showing why it should not be done, in this way he has contradicted the reader. To add on this after the research according to the author a big percentage of the people interviewed were involved in sexual intercourse.

During his research the author also involved people who were in heterosexual relationship and he has not showed the reader having excluded them before drawing conclusions, since the parties of these two different relationship, have  a different expectations from the relationship. The author should have conducted the research on mostly people who were in cross-sexual relationship to avoid ambiguity. In that way the author has not succeeded to convince the reader of his accuracy of the research, and reader can’t rely on this information to draw his conclusion. The research hence seems to have focused on both heterosexual and cross-sexual relationship which was not the case. The writer have also targeted people who involve sexual activities in their relationship, he should have therefore aimed at showing the audience to which he was targeting of the need of the sexual activities and not to contract the reader. In my opinion he ought to have showed the reader how such activities could help them to achieve great goals in their relation since he was aiming at people who practice sexual activities in their relationship. He should have further showed them how they could utilize this to achieve greater goals in their relationships.

Conclusion

The author has succeeded to show the impact of sexual activities in a relationship. He has showed how it helps to bring cross-sexual friends closer and how they are able to break the sexual boundary which usually exists between cross-sexual friends, this boundary according to him is a hindrance to development of the relationship. He has however not convinced the readers significantly why lack of sexual activities is deprivation of expected norms for cross sexual partners. The reader is left confused in that the author is so vivid on the importance’s of the sexual activities, showing the reader how it should be geared to improving the relationship and taking it to other stages through development of intimacy yet showing why involvement of sexual activities in relationship may be a course of destruction of the relationship and even how it may make the relation have bad motive to the other cross-sexual friend.