How valuable is it to possess excellent conversational skills in order to have successful relationships with other people? Can communication skills influence the length of a certain relationship? Bruce Bower tries to give answers to these questions in his article on talking styles.
The research has been carried out to determine the influence of communication skills on relations. It is a common belief that if two people possess similar communication skills and habits, their friendship has a decent chance to grow into a serious relationship or even marriage.
It is also believed that two individuals, who use the same function words and expressions in their speech, can become interested in each other, as this is something they have in common. In the article, Bower does not state that the use of certain parts of speech can make two people more suitable for each other. According to him, the language that we use depends on the background, upbringing and manners. Individuals can be attracted to those, who speak the same way as they do, but this is certainly not the dominant factor to check whether they are compatible or not.
Harmony in the relationship relies on a number of factors and, of course, it would be wrong to say that only communication skills define the chances for a flawless and lasting relationship. Anything that two people have in common can make them compatible, for example, their interests, hobbies, work, experience, habits. As a result, all these factors can become a ground for successful interaction between two individuals and can truly ignite the spark between them. If two people work in the same field, they may use same jargon, which will be undecipherable for people outside of their work circle. People are inclined to group when there are things in common and these things can unconsciously attract individuals.
Making a conclusion, it is essential to mention that talking styles are indeed significant in forming the opinion and together with other factors, like similar experience, same interests and hobbies, can be a powerful tool to ensure a long-lasting and successful relationship.