“Mommy, you’re home!” my four years old screamed as I walked through the door from my night class. The sound of laughter and squeals of joy could be heard all the way down the driveway. Moments like this are the very reason I keep going forward. It is verification that I am a good mother.

The word mother is defined as female parent. Mother is also defined as a female person who is pregnant with or gives birth to a child; a woman who adopts or raises a child. A woman is made to give birth to a child, but the manner in which a woman loves that child unconditionally is what determines a “good” mother from a “bad” mother. The child’s actions do not determine the amount of love given to that child.  They scream and shout, “I hate you” but a good mother is deaf to these words. A good mother is always there for their child no matter what happens in life or what decisions they make. They stand back and allow their child to make decisions. A mother’s biggest fear is that her child will die before her, but a good mother allows her child to go into the military or make life changing decisions even though they don’t always agree. A good mother is not determined by the physical process of giving birth, but by teaching, loving and nurturing the child.

Some women should not have the right to bear the title of mother. If one goes strictly by the definition of mother there would be so many who do not deserve the title. Some women bear children only for selfish reasons, such as, they might think having a child would complete them or getting pregnant would trap the man into a long term relationship. They never take into consideration the life of the poor innocent child they have brought into this world. A child should not be brought into this world and already be expected to perform a job, to love mommy or keeping mommy and daddy together.

When I hear my boys say the words “Mommy, I love you!” or as my little Nicholas says “Mommy, I lub you!” that makes everything else in life a little less important. Being a mother is definitely the hardest job ever, especially when they do something that is wrong and I have to discipline them. The love I have for my children comes so easy, when they come ask me to read to them or simply come lay down with them at night it makes my love multiply

I can only imagine what it is like to be an adoptive or foster care mother. To take a child into your home when they need a loving and caring home the most. Taking on the job of repairing what others have only broke down. A good mother models the good characteristics that a person should possess and builds those characteristics into that child. She takes every piece of the child that anyone has ever broken and glues them back together with the love that flows from her heart. The feeling must be so rewarding.  It is love and acceptance that determines a good mother not the actual birth. Whether a mother adopts, fosters, takes a child in, or gives actual birth, it is the love and bond that develops that makes her a good mother.